Missed Punchline: A Finished Quilt

I almost called this quilt 'Blank Spaces' but realized that Taylor Swift has a song or album or something by that name. And I like T. Swizz and all, but I just couldn't do it. I mulled over the name of this quilt for a while, knowing what I wanted to convey but not quite able to find the right combination of words to do so. And after all that, I left the name off the label. In fact, only you guys will know the name because I won't tell anybody in my family its title.

I decided to name this quilt 'Missed Punchline', not so much for the quilt but for the recipient. I touched lightly on the motivation behind this quilt here, but looking back, I was frustratingly vague and for that I apologize. I wasn't ready to lay my cards on the table then, but now I am.

This quilt is for my grandmother. We've never had the best relationship and for a long time, that really bothered me. As I grew up and became an 'adult', I came to terms with it and for the most part, I didn't let it bother me. Though it started slowly, my grandmother has been in a decline for about a year or so. Nobody in my family has told me specifically, but my grandmother has dementia or Alzheimer's (or are they the same thing? I need to educate myself on this more). And even though she has hurt me countless times in the past, my heart hurts for her in the most awful way. I can't imagine the frustration, confusion, and fear of slowly losing myself and not knowing while everybody around me seems to know exactly what is going on. That is where the name of this quilt came from. Sometimes when I'm with my grandmother, she will look around at everything, completely clueless but too afraid to say that she doesn't understand. It's like she's missed the punchline of a joke but just laughs along because everybody else is.

The quilt began out of necessity but I hated it early on. Every time I looked at it, it just made me mad. There were times I would just scowl at the blocks or the top, fuming at it for no reason. But as I worked my way through, it was sort of like I was letting go of all that stuff that was making me angry. The quilting especially was a favorite of mine. I'm not one for straight line quilting, but no other quilting was acceptable in my mind. And despite one wonky corner, this is the best quilt binding I've had I think. The label was like the cherry on top. I sat in the floor and stitched it on by hand, savoring every little stitch. By the time I was finished, this quilt made me smile in the most comforting way.

It's funny, this is my favorite picture of the whole shoot!

Though it isn't my style at all, I like this quilt. I like the snuggly flannel backing, the scrappy binding, and the fact that I remembered to put a label on it. I hope my grandmother likes it. I made it kind of small because she's a little lady and isn't the strongest, so I wanted her to be able to carry it around the nursing home if she gets cold (which she always is). I'm hoping to overcome my fear and go visit her this week with my mom. I want to give this quilt to her sooner rather than later, and I want to be the one to give it to her. She forgets me sometimes, but when she does remember me, I want it to be good things.

I feel so serious after typing all that, yikes! I promise I am smiling, especially after pestering everybody in the house with my latest finish. I made Mr. LBC and Elvis wear it like a cape, and LBC got a little snuggle with it before I hung it on my quilt ladder for safe keeping. I'm not sure what to do next, I have a few options to choose from. We'll just have to wait and see! Happy Sunday y'all!

Circumstances

The last thing I need to be doing is starting a new quilt, but certain circumstances are a cause for exceptions, right? My City Blocks top is sitting on my design wall still, barely any progress being made since my last post. And yet, I didn't want to sit at my machine and work on it. Instead, I had the urge to just sit in the floor with my rotary cutter and mat, cutting out simple squares. So that's exactly what I did.

I've rewritten this post I don't know how many times, trying to figure how I want to say what I want. I try to not get too personal or ramble too much because this is a quilt blog and, let's face it, you're here to see the quilting. But life happens. You blink and it's been nearly a week since your last post and you've done next to nothing. All the craziness and curveballs of life just keep piling up until you're not quite sure which was is up and you feel guilty for not covering all your bases, both in real life and in blog land. It took me until this morning to realize something though. It's okay.

These fabrics are not my cup of tea at all. When they were donated to me, I actually cringed a little where I'm so engrossed with happy, bright, modern fabrics right now. But I know somebody who matches these fabrics perfectly. Our relationship has been rocky but circumstances have called for a truce (at least on my side). Changes in their health have scared me and confused me for more than a year...enough to drive me to actually want to sit in the floor and cut fabric (second only to basting on my least favorite sewing steps right now.) And with all of this fear and confusion, I did the only thing I really know to do: I started planning a quilt. I'm hoping to pick up some neutrals this week and get started on it soon. 

I tried to keep this as short as possible, so thank you for bearing with me. I'm planning on working on City Blocks for at least a little while today, so hopefully there will be some fun progress to share soon. Have a wonderful Tuesday y'all, thanks for stoppin' by.